Sunday, January 22

The Weight Thing

Just a short note this morning as I have work to catch up on. DS was sick Friday, and now DH is. Nothing like a stomach bug! *blech* I am lucky so far not to have caught it.

Anyway, I was just reading about weight loss/not overeating on my family’s web site. It’s funny, I lost 80 pounds once upon a time. I’ve gained 30 back, but I still feel as if, whenever I want to, I can lose it again. I found a healthy method that works, and I know it’s only a matter of me deciding to really stick to it. I’ve been back on the program for a little while now, and I’m holding steady because I am pushing it to its limits, but I am aware of this, and its better than the gaining I was doing before then. I had only gained about 15, but with the pregnancy and the miscarriage, it’s made it harder for me to care or to want to bother with it.

And yes, for me it is a bother because eating a lot is a part of who I am. Not being overweight/obese is fighting part of my personality in order to be healthier and to let other parts of my personality shine through. When I am thinner (and not even close to model thin), I feel powerful and in control. I feel pretty and sexy. I also am able to do more of those yoga moves I love so much, and they, in turn, give me more power and control. It’s a real rush, one I’m looking forward to feeling again as soon as I am ready. In the meantime, even maintaining keeps me from feeling like I am losing control, which makes a world of difference.

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