A Response to M...

My friend M recently wrote in her thoughtful blog about living like you were dying. What started out as a comment on her blog got kind of long, so I decided to put it here instead.

Living like I were dying is toooo hard to swallow for me. As a mother of a young child and potentially more young children, I adamantly refuse to think of my own demise, except in practical terms (like making sure I have enough insurance and making sure I've established guardianship should DS lose both of us).

I've got too many plans!! (Of course, I've been like this since I was 2, I'm sure—ask my mother!)

The thought of my own child's demise is enough to knock me over and make my heart sieze up, and that's just the thought!

That said, I understand M's viewpoint. Myself, I like to just do what my momma said and live "one day at a time." Unfortunately, if I lived like I were dying, I'd throw work to the wind (who needs money if you're dying anyhow?!). Maybe that indicates that I need another profession (I'm working on it—more plans!). However, I do try to be a "good person" everyday and show my affection to those I care about.

Perhaps that's why I'm not that confrontational. I usually avoid the negative scenarios unless I think there is a really good reason for them, unless I believe there is some potential for positive change (not that I haven't been known to beat a dead horse so to speak). I think I could be a little more confrontational, to tell the truth.

Like at a recent get together with fairly new friends, I thought there was too much drinking going on for the driving that would follow for some. I am not a real drinker, so I didn't say anything, but I worried for them and hoped that they (and other people on the road) got home safe. How would I have felt if something had happened to them? I probably wouldn't blame myself, but I would have definitely felt more than bad and surely could have offered them a ride home—why not try to make the world a little better and safer? Sure, there's that bit of anxiety involved with suggesting that someone doesn't have the best judgment right now, but I'm sure it can be done tactfully, and if you do it often enough, you probably get used to it, right?

See, I did go off on a tanget! Thanks, M, for getting the juices flowing so early in the morning!