Miscarriage Poem

My second pregnancy ended in miscarriage back in November (the week of Thanksgiving). I've definitely had lots of emotional ups and downs since that time. In general, I think I'm doing all right and coping well enough.

One helpful thing has been reading about others' experiences, both on the web and in a book I purchased, Micarriage: Women Sharing from the Heart (Allen & Marks, 1993, John Wiley & Sons). I read a poem in there today (p. 105) that really says a lot about how I feel about the whole thing. It was actually written by a dad.

Here it is:

A Poem by Gary Winters to "Little One"

We had wanted you for so very long,
Or so it must have seemed at times.
Now we know we'll have forever,
To keep you in our minds.

On that joyful day when we learned
That you were on your way,
We opened our home and hearts,
And planned for a permanent stay.

We never saw your smile.
We never held your hand.
You never had your birthday.
How can we understand?

To hear you laugh, to dry your tear
To share your life each day
To see the wonder in your eyes
As you find your rightful way.

We're told we should forget you,
"You'll have another some day."
Don't they see the pain we feel,
Is bruised by what they say?

We never saw your smile.
We never held your hand.
You never had your birthday.
Someday we'll understand.